Friday, March 8, 2013

Conflicts!

Describe a time in which you suppressed or censored your feelings in a conflict. Why did you decide to do so? What was the result? Next, describe a time when you decided to express your feelings in a conflict. Why did you decide to speak up? What were the results? Where you able to resolve the conflict? If so, how? You may want to consider utilzing some of the terms on conflict in your answers (pg. 226-233).


    I am a person who don't like conflicts.  I don't like arguments because it never goes anywhere.  


   One time that I suppressed my feelings in a conflict was with a person I knew.  She always want everything her way.  One day we decided to meet each other and do a cook out.  All the cooking was my ideas and recipes, she was just simply there to help me prep.  At first she would just let me do what I had to do, but then as I started cooking, I keep hearing her say to the other people, "Is it going to be good?"  She kept coming to me telling me to do this and do that.  She would tell me to not do this and not do that. Just ordering me around telling me how to cook my things.  Of course I respected her, so I didn't say anything.  All I kept saying was it was going to be ok.  I was trying so hard to show assertiveness in this conflict.  I could hear her blabbing her mouth saying that what I am doing is wrong, and it's weird, and it's not right.  I just began to ignored her, and thought to myself to just get it over with, and be out of here.  I decided to not say anything because she was older than me, and people respect her.  I didn't want to get into arguments with her, because I knew it would just be embarrassing.  


    The time that I did express my feelings in the conflict did not turn out well.  Even though I spoke the truth, the other person just couldn't handle it.  This kind of conflict are what they call flames.  Online insults. I don't like online insults because it's pointless.  That's why I never cared to express my feelings on it.  This time I had to because it was people who were really close to me.  It was also an interpersonal conflict.     A conflict with two or more people.  I thought I could let them know what I thought, since we were so close.  They always say things to me that are inappropriate,  and I don't say anything back.  Of course when expressing your feelings online, it's harder to tell what the other person's really feeling because you can't hear their tone of voice.  It seem through words that one of them was expressing aggressive feelings towards me.  They both said I never want to hang out with them, and just said I was making excuses.  It was only this one time that I had made an excuse not to hang out with them.  It's a legit excuse too.  I didn't want to get into argument over something like this, but I had to tell them what I thought is the truth.  So I had to tell them that it's not true, and every time we get together I do hang out with them, so if that's what they think than they can go ahead and think however they like to.  One just kept messaging back to me, saying that I was getting mad, and that I shouldn't be like that.  She said I was putting words in her mouth.  I typed back to her to exact words that she wrote to me.  Afterwards, she said that the conversation was getting too out of hands, and she was not going to be in it anymore.  She left.  The other person wrote back, and said she was just joking, and apologized.  The one that apologized to me, we didn't have any thing else to worry about.  The other one who just left, she and I never resolved it.  We just don't talk about it anymore.  So did we resolve it?  I don't know.       

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